Mistakes

“I could have built you a fire and told you this story and hoped you gleaned from it some sort of wisdom. Maybe you would have, or maybe, like most men, you would have ignored your father and gone off to make your own mistakes. ~The character Pieter from Sarah Leipciger’s Coming Up For Air (87)

If only it were that easy, that a child or any person should heed the wisdom and advice of an elder, in doing so avoid most or all mistakes, and lead a near-perfect life. For many of us, such advice, usually based on hard-earned experience, goes in one ear and out the other. We do make our own mistakes, we do learn the hard way, and only in retrospect might we appreciate the warnings.

Why do we do that? Sometimes we don’t trust the source of the advice. It might come from a person whose life we don’t envy or whom we don’t fully respect, so we don’t listen. We might think a situation doesn’t or would never apply to us, so we tune it out. Sometimes the advice runs counter to what we want, which might be a person, an object, or an experience. We might be addicted to drama or driven by fears or desires we don’t fully understand. Maybe the person offering the advice seems so perfect that we feel we can never live up to their standards, so why bother trying?

Mostly, though, it’s because it’s our life and we must live it the way we choose, consciously or unconsciously. Mistakes will be made along the way, some big, some small. It is part of being human, of living a full and authentic life, of taking risks, exploring, leaving our comfort zones. It’s how we learn who we are, what we are capable of, how to trust or not trust ourselves.

I have wondered about people that seem never to make mistakes, whose lives seem too perfect. Are they taking any real risks? Playing it too safe? Living in a carefully constructed bubble? Or have they simply gleaned something that the rest of us haven’t?

How do we treat the people we love when they make mistakes? Do we shame and blame them or love them anyway, try to help them learn and do better? What advice and words of wisdom are we offering? Is it welcome? Is it helping? How do we discern what advice to give, who to give it to, how to give it and when? Will they listen?

Are we listening?

“Because these are the sorts of things that build a life: crossing water to another country and wondering about ghosts and suffering the humiliation of being bested by an animal dumber than you and with more time to lose.” ~Pieter (87)

When Building a Blog or a Business, Every Person Matters

I have few regrets in life, but one of my biggest is the time I made a client feel like he didn’t matter.

About 10 years ago, an acquaintance opened a yoga studio and I was teaching a class there once a week. I was slowly building a following and had a few particularly devoted students, one of whom was a middle-aged man going through some personal challenges.

The studio owner was a wonderful teacher who sometimes said things that confused me. A comment she made one day about generating revenue for the studio was one of them. I began to think that if I didn’t have lots of students in my class, I was hurting her business because regardless of numbers, she had to pay me.

Such was my mindset when on a cold, stormy night the only student to show up for class was the middle-aged man. I made an ill-fated decision to cancel the class despite the fact that he was there. He claimed that he understood, but he never came back to class.

The studio owner was upset with me. She said that I should have taught the class even though only one student showed up. She said that every student mattered. I explained that she’d given the impression she wasn’t pleased about paying teachers when the number of students in class would generate a loss for her. I figured if I canceled the class, she wouldn’t have to pay me. She told me I was mistaken.

With that sorted out, I reached out to the middle-aged man, apologized for canceling class, told him that I’d misunderstood the studio policy. He politely claimed that it was no big deal. We remained friendly, and once he stopped by my house to chat, but still he never returned to class.

When I canceled the class I knew it wasn’t right, but I did it anyway. In the process of ignoring my better judgment, I made a human being feel like he didn’t matter. It was a huge mistake that taught me a valuable life lesson.

Every person matters. This is important to remember when you’re building a blog or a business. If only one person likes your post or only one client shows up for a service, that person matters. Rather than lament the lack of likes or visits or clients, be grateful for every single one and never take them for granted.

This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t work on strategies for increasing traffic or cliental; of course you should if you hope to reach more people or earn a profit. It simply means to appreciate each and every person who takes the time to read your blog, utilize your services, or purchase your product.

None of us is perfect. We all make mistakes. Sometimes we are misguided and hurt others. To avoid this, and to stay motivated when we’re building our blogs or businesses, it’s critical to be thankful for the people who do show up, and to remember that each one counts.

CVeHyokU8AAD54Y