Yesterday my husband and I took a much-needed jaunt to the beach. The November day was unseasonably warm in New England and it seemed right to seize it. I wanted desperately to get away for a few hours – from my house that I’m in nonstop because of COVID-19, from the endless assault of election news, from my 22 year old son who is making bad choices and making me worried.
We drove the hour or so to Rhode Island, to my favorite beach, East in Watch Hill, where Taylor Swift’s oceanfront mansion sits high on a cliff, surrounding by fencing and security cameras, and a lighthouse graces one end. My feet sinking into the warm sand, and the not-too-cold water lapping at my heels, felt like heaven. I felt grounded, connected to the divine, grateful to be at this beautiful, healing place.
The trauma, insanity, and isolation of the past year had finally caught up with me over the weekend. It felt like edginess and depression and an inability to focus. I was supposed to catch up on grading for the class I teach, clean the bathroom, cook a nice Sunday meal, but I simply could not do any of these things, couldn’t even go through the motions, as usual.
If not for the ocean, I might have imploded into a heap on the floor. This is not like me. Typically, I can put one foot in front of the other and carry on. But I was tired, so very tired. I needed to feel alive, connected, touch something that was good and pure and healing.
The beach even smelled this way. I marveled at the scent, told my husband I wished I could bottle it up and bring it home. Instead, I pocketed a few black stones and a rare piece of sea glass I found.
By this morning, to my dismay, the ebony-colored stones had faded to gray. Similarly, my ocean-inspired energy is fading. I’m beginning to feel heavy again, as a busy work week looms.
But where would I be without yesterday’s trip to the beach? I don’t even want to know. In a world that sometimes feels like it’s gone mad, we need every bit of grace we can grab.
I’d love to know – how are you feeling?
We are having nice weather too in Ontario. That is so unusual for this time of the year and we went for a walk in the woods during the weekend. It was so refreshing and I tried not to watch the news. Nature has mysterious ways to better the mood.
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I’m so glad you’re having nice weather, too. It’s definitely a treat this time of year to be blessed to hike, go to the beach, and overall enjoy the outdoors without freezing. And yes, avoiding the news is good for our mental health!
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I’m all over the place! Dealing with the election drama (when did we decide that we can’t even talk civilly to someone who votes differently from us?), to the never-ending pandemic and all the devastation it has wrought on us physically, mentally and financially, to my husband’s cancer diagnosis, there are times when I feel very overwhelmed. But other times, I feel that it will all be okay (and my husband’s latest scans were very good news indeed) and am at peace. I wish I had a beach to go to, as they always calm me down too. But since I’m stuck in the middle of the country, I make do with walks around my neighborhood and being outside as much as possible. It helps!
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Ann, just your husband’s health concerns alone is enough to throw life way off balance. I pray for his healing and hope that soon the pandemic will be over and you can spend a full month at the beach together relaxing and healing. Sarasota is your favorite, right?
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Close! It’s Sanibel…but it’s on the Florida Gulf Coach and it has a beach, so there’s a whole lot in common. And thank you, my husband is doing well. Done with chemo and radiation, now we’re just waiting on scopes to see if he needs surgery. But clean scans!
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Glad to hear it.
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These are some interesting and dark times we live in. I’d also like to say me, too on the 22-y-o making bad decisions. Mine is 21. Maybe they can meet up and do something positive. Just kidding.
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Ugh, I would have thought by now he’d be over worrying us! What is with these grown kids anyhow? I keep waiting for the light at the end of the tunnel, but maybe we need to turn the torch on while we’re going through it.
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Set the whole thing on fire.
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