Isn’t She Lovely?

This photo makes me smile, mostly because I want to be that old woman. I have always believed that the ultimate freedom is being yourself. It is a freedom many of us will never fully know. Yet with this freedom comes power. In this old, eccentric lady, I see power that no one can take away. It’s the kind of power that comes with loving and accepting yourself as you are, and expressing who you are, without apologies, excuses, or justification.

Wouldn’t that be lovely?

I think it would, which got me humming this old Stevie Wonder tune. Hope you enjoy!

11 thoughts on “Isn’t She Lovely?

    • Hi Svet, thanks for your question. I’m not sure I have a short or simple answer. So many things have stopped me and I think it goes way back to when I was a kid. We moved a lot. I went to five elementary schools in five different towns and two middle schools in two different towns. It’s not easy always being the new kid at school, other kids size you up and form opinions about whether to accept or reject you pretty quickly. I had to learn fast whether or not my true self would be accepted or whether I had to adapt myself to fit in. Then there’s my teen years, where I made some poor choices and was rejected and judged (and by some people even still, almost 35 years later), and felt I had to spend my whole life proving I wasn’t a screw up. I also have strong intuition and know intuitively and almost immediately if a person I meet is someone I can trust or someone I need to keep my guard up with. All of this has caused me to be rather reserved around people until I can assess whether or not it’s “safe” to be myself around them. With all that said, the older I get, the more I accept myself, which is the key to all of this, and the less I worry or care what others think about me. I have also come to realize that the people who judged me most are far from perfect and have their own issues with themselves that cause them to not be able to accept other people as they are. I wasted a lot of time worrying about their opinions, which in the end mean nothing. And I do find this letting go and ever-increasing self-acceptance to be freeing.

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      • I have been following your blog for quite a while, so I know what you mean by being judged by others, and the moment you are comfortable to tell about yourself and your past. I saw you write about it on how words from relatives can hurt you on a deeper level. So sometimes you do conceal your true self. What I meant in my question was more if you stop with yourself now to think about the things that you would like to do and make you feel good, like dancing/singing/writing, for instance. No one stops you from pursuing dancing. You have the freedom to sign up for dancing classes and pursue that. You might not be successful or have a career in that field, but you can continue doing it because you enjoy dancing. Same with food. You have the freedom to eat whatever you like or dress however you want (obviously not in a professional environment).

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      • Oh, I see what you mean. You are really challenging me to think, Svet! Which is a good thing. I guess I don’t see much of a connection between being ourselves and doing what we love. The only thing I really love to do that I wish I had more time for, because my job and family responsibilities take up so much time, is write and blog. Other than that, I have spent the past year doing a lot of what I want, which includes international travel, yoga, beach, time with family, my work is going well and I’ve had a couple of unexpected promotions. But through it all, I still sometimes feel as I state in the previous reply. As an example, imagine someone who goes through life professionally successful and loves their work, engages in hobbies they love, does much of what they enjoy, but they are hiding the fact that they are gay to the world from fear of being judged and even disowned from their family. So I think you can be doing what you love, but not be really free because you fear being yourself and that is a huge burden to bear.

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