Drowning In Extremes

/ Kim Gorman

I want to talk about life’s ups and downs.

About extremes and trying to find the middle ground.

A wonderful week in Florida; two magical weeks in Prague.

Then I come home.

Husband laid out, on oxycodone,

After work accident led to surgery.

A new kitchen floor installed.

Refrigerator and dining table in living room.

Washer, dryer, dishwasher in driveway.

No hot water in kitchen sink.

Piles of dishes.

Lugging hot water from downstairs bath in pitchers.

Piles of laundry.

Dragging baskets to parents’ houses.

Husband in tears from pain; his boss whines,

“I’m losing money without him. I’m so stressed I need a massage.”

Then just as things are looking up, it happens.

Mother-in-law has a heart attack.

Survives five bypasses, only to end up with blood clot and paralyzed legs.

Emergency surgery doesn’t save her.

Funeral plans. Countless phone calls to relatives.

Final viewing. Burial.

Father-in-law’s blood sugar plummets.

Picked up by the PD for erratic driving.

Rushed to hospital.

Okay for now.

Then,

Two co-workers announce they have new jobs.

Boss is leaving for China.

Work follows me on my so-called vacation.

Thanks to invention of Smartphone.

Is there enough wine in the universe to help me forget?

Will this, too, really pass?

They say when it rains, it pours.

It is pouring.

But I am alive.

I am healthy.

I am free?

Still, I wonder,

Is there always a price to pay

For joy,

For love,

For beauty,

And the desire to be free?

Prague at night
National Theater Roof
Bohemian Paradise
Bohemian Forest
Christ everywhere
Church of Bones

38 thoughts on “Drowning In Extremes”

  1. Everything will turn out to be ok in the end. Just stay strong! Never give up! It might be hard now, but it’ll all settle down at the right time. 🙂

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    • You are absolutely right, dear, and thank you for your encouragement. Everything stirs up at once, then settles down. Kind of like a hurricane or a tornado passing through, then the aftermath, then the realization of how fortunate we really are just to be alive and survive. Writing about these times does help, too :). But I do feel really sad about my mom-in-law. She was a very sweet, kind person. I’m sorry she suffered, but I also believe she’s in a better place.

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      • Well, I am sure she is in a better place 🙂 and of course, suffering is normal. You should just let it out and then return with a fresh mindset and be ready to move on 🙂 I wish you all the best!!

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    • Thank you, Mick. As long as no one else ends up hospitalized or passes for a while, we’ll be okay. And I don’t say that lightly. On the plus side, I have hot water back in the kitchen, which is truly a luxury! By the way, I love the word Blimey! My 10 year old son went through a phase where he said it all the time 🙂 Hope all is well with you and yours.

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  3. Another ‘blimey’ from a Brit, and my sympathies on your mother-law’s passing. The world can seem a cruel place at times. So important to count one’s blessings, I think, and to know that things will change. H ❤

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    • Thank you, Hariod. I have been doing a lot of blessing counting lately, as well as coming to the stark realization that I am more responsible for the changes in my life than I had previously believed. Blimey! 🙂

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  4. I don’t know why, but this sentence came in to my mind after reading your post :”No tree, it is said, can grow to heaven unless its roots reach down to hell. ” I hope the bad times will pass soon and you will experience happiness and joy again. I am so sorry to hear about everything you went through…..

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    • Hi Svet! Thanks for this sentence. I always appreciate your tidbits of wisdom. What’s been tough about all of this is that the pain and suffering hasn’t really been happening to me, but rather to those I love, and I have had to be a witness to it, help in any way I can, while at the same time feeling somewhat helpless to help. In some ways it’s been like watching a movie, only obviously it’s all too real. I understand that’s life. Sadly, two of my coworkers have been going through similar experiences with their own families, so the workplace has been a little glum, but we do have each other to lean on for support.

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  5. When ever I faced rough times, I think of my mom growing up during the depression in NY City, moving 11 times, contending with an Irish father/bookie/labor union organizer/store owner. I remember her toughness and her strength: she is gone but she left us better. She taught us all how to live and survive the roller coaster.

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    • It sounds like your mom was an amazing woman! I remember the stories my grandmother would tell me about growing during the Depression, and my grandfather’s stories about being in the war. Those were such tough times and I agree they remind us to put situations and circumstances into perspective. When we consider some of the things going on in the world, we really don’t even have problems compared to others! Just the natural way of life’s ups and downs. Thanks!

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  6. I’m so sorry you came home from a wonderful trip to such tragedy and disaster! And I can’t begin to imagine how overwhelming it all must feel. I truly wish I could do or say something to make this better for you, but all I can do is offer my sympathy and friendship. Please accept my condolences for your mother-in-law, my best wishes for healing for your husband, and my hope that things begin to look up for you very soon.

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  10. Sorry so many hard things are happening at once. Please accept my condolences for your mother-in-law. I hope your husband heals quickly. And for you, I hope that you’re able to stay strong and keep perspective. Things will get better. And when you don’t feel strong, I hope you have someone with broad shoulders nearby to lean on. Take care of yourself!

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  11. Sorry I’m so late, Kim and more sorry about your loss and the problems that seem to come in bunches. I hope your husband is feeling much better and things are getting back to normal, whatever normal is. Stay well.

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  15. Hey Kim,
    whoa, love your unique writing style of this post… the way you wrote this, in lists….like one thing happening, then another…
    You are so right, “when it rains, it pours”. Life can be super tough sometimes, and you wonder, when can I get a break?!! A ray of sunshine to break forth the dark stormy, raining sky hanging over my life?

    I’m so sorry you had to deal with so much, especially after a magical 2 weeks in Prague…but hang in there, things will turn around soon. Natural law of the universe 🙂 I know from experience…bad breaks don’t last forever. And when they do, you will be the stronger for it. You will inspire and encourage others through this very blog! Cheers,
    Tomini

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  16. Wow! That is a roller coaster. They say what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger. I surely hope things go smoother for a while. But what I have learned from my 60 plus years is that there is a lesson somewhere lurking in it all. Sometimes we don’t figure it out when we are in the thick of it all, not even for many years later, but it is there. And these are character building moments, albeit hard. I am sending love your way!

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